Hang Your Head in Hope

by Kristopher Roe

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about

Recorded and mixed by Bob Hoag at Flying Blanket recording in Mesa, Arizona over two days in November, 2011.
Everything tracked on a 1978 Neve 8078 console, using a 1940's RCA 44DX ribbon microphone.
All songs recorded live in one take, no edits, no overdubs, just me and a 1948 Gibson J-45 acoustic guitar.
All songs mixed to analog tape.

credits

released 24 November 2011

Written and performed by Kristopher Roe.
(c) 2011.

Art Photography by Kristopher Roe.
Live photograph by Samuel Hon.

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about

The Ataris Indianapolis, Indiana

Creating words and sounds in the basements and dive bars of the world, while young souls pile into the microphone and spill beer into my effects pedals.
Honest music, chock full of beautiful mistakes, played loud, recorded to analog tape.
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Track Name: 12.15.10
"12.15.10" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

We leave the television blaring,
To create the illusion,
That our lives are not vacant.
But still our hearts are so shattered.

We are all speeding
With no destination.
An imaginary prize,
until we sadly falter.

Hollow children, sputtering out
From birth until failure
We march on forever.

We are only as strong as the mark we left behind.

It was a cold, cold day in December
Your hands were folded,
Your heart was silent.
What was this boy to do?
How could I possibly stay here without you?

You were a young soul waiting for heaven,
And heaven had finally come for you.
I know this much is true;
There will never be another one like you.

Hollow children, sputtering out
From birth until failure
We march on forever.

We are only as strong as the mark we left...

God, are you really listening?
If this is only a test,
This is only a test.
I feel like I'm failing.

God, are you really listening?
If this is only a test,
this is only a test.
I feel like I'm failing...
Failing you!

(With Love... for my Great Grandmother, Gladys Sanders)
Track Name: My Hotel Year
"My Hotel Year" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

I saw the stars fall from the sky
And watched the tail lights fade away,
As the sun began to witness a new day.

I drove five hundred thousand miles
To find a world unlike my own,
And now middle of nowhere seems like my home.

Alone, unknown... Yet fearing nothing but ourselves
Could be scarier than any crowded room.
I'm more alone with you than when I'm by myself.

Another night stuck on the vine,
Another low lit memory
Where time will slowly have it's way with me.

We live our lives to expect the worst
But once it happens what is left?
We will never have to be surprised again.

Just you and me not saying much of anything;
Sometimes could mean more than a thousand words.
Goodbye, farewell to this fucked up world that was my former self.

We never seem to have the time until we waste it,
All gone, goodbye.
Think and think alike, we always seem to waste our lives.
And then one day it's all gone, we've thrown it all away.

I'm glad you were a part of my hotel year.
Track Name: How I Spent My Summer Vacation
"How I Spent My Summer Vacation" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

Got out of bed today.
I'm alive, what can I say?
I'm really happy to be
somewhere with someone who makes me happy.

I took the bus downtown,
All day long I walked around.
I looked at all the sights
And thought about how lucky I am now.

I was sick of being down
So I gave it all away.
Two thousand miles from all I know.
and so much better off today.

I'm still waiting for the world
To come crashing down ahead.
And I'm still waiting for someone
to call me up and tell me you're dead.
Sometimes I wonder what was going through your head?
I don't know, but I won't go there again.

You make me smile so wide,
When I look into your eyes,
And when you're not around
You know you're somewhere stuck inside my mind.

So here I am today
I was lost for thirty years.
I found clarity,
The day I took a chance and moved away.
Track Name: The Graveyard of the Atlantic
"The Graveyard of The Atlantic" Lyrics and Music - Kristopher Roe

The Chesapeake below these fumbled hands and nervous smiles.
We medicate and stumble to find the courage to talk aloud.
In the streetlight silhouette these neon halos shines so bright.
While the radio cried "Young Hearts be Free Tonight!"

So tell me how'd we end here?
We all want to feel something even if it’s only for a moment.
Tell me what happened to our dreams we had when we were young?
We’re never looking back.

Tonight, these echoes of our lives
Are calling out don’t surrender, don’t surrender.
Tonight, these jukebox 45s
Are calling out don’t surrender, don’t surrender.

Well, I am just a bit part in this movie of your life
While the night brigade roll on out on highway 95.
We’re carving out our lives on these counterfeit guitars,
While the ghosts of our past ring down the boulevard.

So tell me, how'd we end here?
We all want to feel something, If it’s only for a moment.
Tell me, what happened to our dreams we had when we were young?
We’re never looking back now.

Tonight, these echoes of our lives
Are calling out don’t surrender, don’t surrender.
Tonight, sad songs and whiskey nights
Are calling out don’t surrender, don’t surrender.

We grew up chasing sunsets, now we both just shut our eyes.
We were young and oh so bold, and torn apart by county lines

Tonight, these echoes of our lives
Are calling out don’t surrender, don’t surrender.
Tonight, from the basements and the dives
We’re calling out don’t surrender, don’t surrender.
Track Name: Your Boyfriend Sucks
"Your Boyfriend Sucks" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

You're better off without him, don't call him...
He's breaking your heart.
He's hanging with your best friend and your waiting there,
It's tearing you apart!

He lied to you a thousand times,
When I was there he kept you waiting!

And I'm still here,
Waiting there to catch you if you fall.
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all!

Finally got the nerve to tell you
How much you mean to me.
You said that I was your best friend,
A real sweet guy, but that's all I'd ever be.
Track Name: Eight of Nine
"Eight of Nine" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

These hospital walls are the palest of white.
Here in this desert they're reciting my last rights.
The smell of these halls brings temporary comfort
As the oxygen flows through my blood.
El Corazón was poisoned tonight...
She's on her Eight of Nine.

When half of all your prayers are insincere,
The other half are lies.

Here is this watermark under this bridge.
The point where it all crested,
Rolled back and drifted into the sea.
I climb from this wreckage
As the smoke begins to clear from my lungs.
The closest of close calls has happened tonight.

It's time that I made things right
for the first time, since the last time.
Let this moment of clarity
Lift this curse that has been cast upon me.

Appreciate the good times,
But don't take the worst for granted
'Cause you only get so many second chances.
Track Name: Broken Promise Ring
"Broken Promise Ring" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

I really wanna call you, but I know that it's not right.
I probably shouldn't tell you but I dreamed of you last night.
I guess I'm not prepared to say...
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again
Until next time that he goes away.

You told me that you loved me, I started tearing down those walls.
I really started to trust you but you set me up to take the fall.
I guess I'm not prepared to say...
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again
Until next time that he goes away.

I guess that I'm wrong for falling in love,
But you're still the one that I'm dreaming of.
I guess that it's you I want to hold onto,
But you're holding onto someone else.
Track Name: The Hero Dies In This One
"The Hero Dies in This One" - Lyrics: Kristopher Roe
Music: Mike Davenport / Kristopher Roe / John Collura / Chris Knapp

As I leave here today
Apartment 108
I'll always keep you in my heart.
Anderson is cold tonight,
The leaves are scattered on the ground.
I miss the seasons and the comfort of your smile.

Sometimes this all feels like a dream,
I'm waiting for someone just to wake me up from this life.
As I look out at these fairgrounds,
I remember how our family split apart.

I don't think I ever told you,
but I know you always did your best
and the hard times only made us stronger.

As I sit here all alone,
I wonder how I'm supposed to carry on
when you're gone.

I'll never be the same without you,
I love you more than you will ever know.
So maybe now you'll finally know.
Sometimes we're helpless and alone,
but you can't let it keep you weighted down.
You must go on.

Do you ever feel like crying?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
I raise my hands up towards the sky,
I say this prayer for you tonight,
because nothing is impossible.

*The hardest part isn't finding what we need to be,
it's being content with who we are.

Stay who you are.
Track Name: All Souls' Day
"All Souls' Day" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

You said you wanted to be loved,
I think you wanted to be saved.
But tell me how am I supposed to save a girl like you
When I don't even know how to save myself.

Wish I could just forget,
The double lives, the awkwardness,
A union scarred by bitterness,
A house was built on top of our regrets.

There we were in California,
Two tarnished golden hearts.
Were we ever really together,
Or just afraid of being apart?

Wish I could drive all night,
Wake up in the harsh day light.
In a different town, start a brand new life,
And never have to see your face again!

I wonder if this spell we're under
Will ever be broken?
I wonder if this spell we're under
Is ever going to end?!

I guess there's never any closure,
Just that last look in our eyes.
You said you hope that I'm happy now,
When we both know,
Like everything that's one big fucking lie.

I wish I could turn around,
Erase our lives take back those vows.
I guess it's not that easy now,
I'd tear that fucking chapel to the ground!

I wonder if the spell we're under
Will ever be broken
I wonder if this spell we're under
Is ever going to end?!

Today I woke up
And these leaves had all withered,
Faded and fell to the ground.
Like our tired hearts.

I wonder if the spell we're under
Will ever be broken
I wonder if this spell we're under
Is ever going to end.
Track Name: In This Diary
"In This Diary" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

Here in this diary I write you visions of my summer,
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing alongs
And that unspoken feeling of knowing
That right now is all that matters.

All those nights we stayed up talking
Listening to 80's songs
And quoting lines from all those movies that we loved
It still brings a smile to my face.

I guess when it comes down to it...

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters is just following your heart
And eventually you'll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools
And wreaking havoc on our world,
Hanging out at truck stops
Just to pass the time.
The blacktop singing me to sleep.

Lighting fireworks in parking lots
Illuminate the blackest nights
Cherry cokes under this moonlit'summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it's time to say goodbye!

Get on the bus, it's time to go.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters is just following your heart
And eventually you'll finally get it right.
Track Name: Unopened Letter to the World
"Unopened Letter to the World" - Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

If I died tomorrow would this song live on forever??
Here is my...unopened letter to a world
that never shall reply.

From this second story window I can hear the church bells
calling out my name.
This table is set for one.
Even angels would be homesick in this forsaken town.

On random notes of parchment I'm scrawling my existence,
Dressed in white. This candle radiates throughout the night
And it's never burning out, Never burning out.

From this second story window I can hear the children
down on Main Street.
They're singing their songs tonight.
In the shadows, I will listen to their every movement.

Mr. Higginson, Am I not good enough for the world?
Am I destined only to die the same way that I lived...
In seclusion.

From high upon this mountain I can almost see
Your lonely windowsill.
They'll carry you off tonight.
There's a ghost in your old bedroom
And a candle burning bright.

If I died tomorrow would this song live on forever?
Track Name: San Dimas
"San Dimas High School Football Rules"
Lyrics and Music: Kristopher Roe

Last night I had a dream that we went to Disneyland,
Went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line.
I drove you to your house where we stared up at the stars,
I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms.

We hung out at The Rainbow where we drank til' half past two.
Nothing could go wrong anytime that I'm with you.
Like crashing a hotel room or leading up to that first kiss
Or searching for a high school that we know didn't exist.

These are the things that make me free
I feel like I'm stuck in "Stand By Me"
This night was too good to be true.

Today, I woke up alone wishing you were here with me,
I wanted us to be something that we'd probably never be.
Today you called me up and said you'd see me at our show,
But now I'm stuck debating if I even wanna go.

Whitney, don't you understand that what I say is true?
I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.
I'd drive you to Las Vegas and do the things you wanna do
I'd even have Wayne Newton dedicate a song to you.

I only wish that this could be
Dump your boyfriend and go out with me,
I swear I'd treat you like a queen.